<p>The scene is the campaign headquarters of A Certain Party.&nbsp; With just days to go to the election, they are heading for defeat even by their own polls.&nbsp; Things haven&rsquo;t been going their way.</p>

<p>&nbsp;Some ideas are too good to let go.</p> <p>Col Saksit Phuklan, who has graciously condescended to turn himself in only 10 days after the incident (if indeed he was involved in the first place), has denied deliberately driving his car at Maj Hathaiporn Imwitthaya, putting her into a coma. He didn&rsquo;t even accidentally hit her. It was the victim who inflicted her injuries on herself by throwing herself at his car, he says, defying eyewitness accounts and the CCTV footage. So what blame can be attached to him?</p>

<p>Uproar broke out in Parliament in the first sitting after the elections when the traditional hazing of new MPs was disrupted by a small protest group.</p>

<p><em>(The third phase of the new Identification Card Act, to take effect in July, requires children aged 7-14 years old to be issued with ID cards.)</em></p> <p>&lsquo;But you must have put it somewhere, Note. Where is it?&rsquo;</p>

<p>&nbsp;The scene: Pheu Thai Party headquarters a few days after the election results have been announced.</p> <p>&lsquo;Just like I said, an overall majority. So we can tell that clown from Buriram to go back to running his football team.&rsquo;</p>

<p>The most recent issue of OK magazine (Thai version) has, perhaps inevitably, a photo spread on the latest British Royal Wedding. The story caption (and captions in OK Thailand are always in English) reads &lsquo;The Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge&rsquo;.</p>

<p>&nbsp;Much has been made of the comments by former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra about the selection of his younger sister, Yingluck, as the Pheu Thai candidate for prime minister in the forthcoming elections. Critics, including the Democrat Party, were quick to seize on his use of the word &lsquo;clone&rsquo; to describe the relationship between himself and his sister.</p>

<p>In January 2010, Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjavija ordered the establishment of an Advisory Committee on National Security Cases Involving the Monarchy, with the responsibility of advising the police, DSI and ICT Ministry on the careful, appropriate and fair conduct of l&egrave;se majest&eacute; cases.</p>

<p>&nbsp;In a dramatic late night speech to the nation, Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva announced that Thai Special Forces had killed The Evil One (TEO) in a daring and successful operation in Montenegro.</p>

<p>&nbsp;It is not clear of it was the result of a cock-up or a conspiracy, but the following bizarre newscast from the BBC seems to have come about after their reporter for wars and disasters, Orla Guerin, was unaccountably assigned to cover the royal wedding. At the same time, their palace correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, found himself in a flak jacket on the boat to the besieged Libyan city of Misrata.</p>

<p>The age of the performers was a bit of a surprise, but the rest of the brouhaha surrounding 3 pairs of naked nipples on top of a car on Silom at Songkran was reassuringly predictable.</p>

<p>&nbsp;&lsquo;Democrat Party Headquarters, good morning.&rsquo;</p> <p>&lsquo;Ah, good morning. I am calling from Second Coming Solutions. We&rsquo;re a strategy and logistics outfit, new kids on the block, so to speak, and I was hoping to talk to someone about helping develop a dynamic and exciting solution to the upcoming election campaign that will lead your party to a well-deserved success in the polls.&rsquo;</p>