It is not clear of it was the result of a cock-up or a conspiracy, but the following bizarre newscast from the BBC seems to have come about after their reporter for wars and disasters, Orla Guerin, was unaccountably assigned to cover the royal wedding. At the same time, their palace correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, found himself in a flak jacket on the boat to the besieged Libyan city of Misrata.

Studio presenter: And now to savour the mood of the people lining the royal route, we go over for some interviews with members of the public by our correspondent [slight pause as she stares at the teleprompter in disbelief] Orla Guerin.

Guerin: Well here by the side of the road where the royal couple will soon be passing on their way to Buckingham Palace, it’s not all gaiety and smiles. We found 10-year-old Timmy here crying his little eyes out. At first, we thought that in the press of the crowd, Timmy had become tragically separated from his parents …

Female voice just out of camera shot: No he’s not, he’s just being a very naughty boy.

Guerin: … but it seems that Timmy’s troubles are even worse than that. Let’s see if Timmy can tell us his sad story.

Timmy (speech punctuated by loud sobs): Don’t want to stand by the sodding road all day. Spoiling my holiday. She said she’d take me to the zoo. [Dissolves in tears.]

Guerin: A happy day for some. But for others, like poor little Timmy here, …

Timmy: And I’ve lost my sodding flag.

Guerin: … a day of tears and sadness. How many more little boys and girls are there like Timmy? Perhaps we shall never know. Orla Guerin, BBC News, London.

The cutback to the studio has caught someone napping. All viewers can see is a shot of a piece of carpet, slightly out of focus. In the background a disembodied voice is speaking.

Voice: So who in buggering hell is in Misrata?

Studio presenter who isn’t sure whether to adopt the BBC number 3 facial expression for reporting disasters (serious but concerned), or number 1 for reporting patriotic celebrations (superior smile with a hint of smugness): Meanwhile, here is the news from the rest of the world. Our reporter Nicholas Witchell has just arrived in the besieged Libyan port of Misrata and sends us this report on the state of fighting there.

Witchell: Here in Misrata we are a long way from the pomp and pageantry of Westminster Abbey. But even here, there is a distinct reminder of the gallantry of war, which of course is epitomized in Prince William’s choice of a military uniform for his wedding ceremony today.. We are, after all, on the same coast that resounds with the names of Tobruk and El Alamein and other scenes of British military glory in years gone past.

And as I observe the rebel forces running hither and thither as shells from the besieging government troops rain down on them, I am reminded of the crowds outside Buckingham Palace at this very moment, running here and there in the hope of getting that glimpse of the happy couple to be forever cherished in the memory.

Bur let me ask this fighter here for his reaction. {Turns to the translator.} Can you please ask him how the fighting’s going and what are his views on the royal wedding?

[There follows a heated discussion in Arabic with a bemused resistance fighter who becomes increasingly belligerent towards Witchell.]

Witchell: Well as you can probably sense from that conversation, the tide of battle is ebbing to and fro but there is a genuine groundswell of goodwill towards the Prince and his bride on this, their special day. I think I can speak for all the plucky fighters here. We’d all like to be there in London to wish the Queen’s grandson and her new granddaughter-in-law and long and happy life. But over to Orla Guerin for a round-up of the day’s events in London.

Guerin: As the crowds begin to drift away home and the last of the revellers drain the dregs from their glasses, leaving behind the detritus of tattered bunting, discarded royal paraphernalia, and, somewhere, little Tommy’s lost Union Jack, the nation can look back on another successful celebration. But will tomorrow bring a better world for the likes of little Tommy? Who can know? Orla Guerin, BBC News, as the dark night descends on London.